The In'N'Out Mom

I see stuff I think is strange. Don't know if it's strange to anyone else. But it is to me. Like the other day, I decided to lift my In'N'Out moratorium and go get a double-double for lunch. I'm enjoying my stuff-fried-in-grease when a young mother walks in with two little boys in tow. She looked like one of those moms on "The Real Housewives of Orange County" -- you know, 32, hip-hugger designer jeans, "Bebe" top, obscene rock on her finger. Her two boys looked like they were maybe 6 and 8 years old - maybe a year or two older. It was about 3 in the afternoon, and the boys had their schoolbooks and stuff, so I'm guessing they'd come straight from school. They sit down and she pulls out a big planning calendar. I'm thinking, oh, working mom checking her appointment book. Then I hear her start busting her young lads' chops about their school schedules: "You had a math quiz today? Why didn't you tell me!!!" The planning calendar wasn't hers; it was for keeping all those 1st grade tests and quizes and spelling bees and color-the-map assignments straight! (Now that I think about it, all that color-the-map stuff doesn't even come until, oh, maybe the 4th grade, does it? I mean, whose mom uses a planning calendar to make sure you're at the head of the class in the 1st grade?) I'm thinking, "Lady, you're just a tad obsessive here." Next thing I notice is that she's picked up their food, but it's not your normal everyday In'N'Out meal. Sitting in front of each of the two boys were two stacked hamburger patties topped with cheese. No bun. No dressing. No lettuce. No onions. No tomato. No nuttin'. Okay, fine, maybe they're doing Atkins or something. (But the boys? Give me a break.) And to add insult to injury, she reaches across the table and starts cutting each of the boys' double patties into bite-sized pieces with a knife and fork! Give me a break! The kids can't cut their own hamburger patties? Do they go to the bathroom alone, for crying out loud? What's up with that? It was pathetic.